Jeeva's POV

After one week,

"All right, students, that's it for today", Sir addressed all of us, saying, "Go home and review what you learned today; otherwise, you will forget it."

The excitement we get when we take on a new project is tremendous. It might be anything new within the field of study or something else entirely.

That's what's making me excited right now.

My studies at the intermediate level. I'm so excited and confident about it.

I have gone over everything we have learned this week so many times that I have it all completely memorized.

As we are self-assured, we don't require the trust or confidence of others.

Nobody but ourselves, in my opinion, can be our greatest ally, rival, or inspiration.

The method by which I continually persuade myself that I must accomplish this task.

Whatever it is that I have learnt to play the guitar, ride a bike, or participate in any sport, I have motivated myself to accomplish it all.

I really am such a sloth. It gets harder for me to get out of my lazy zone once I enter it.

And I am the best person to know this because I have to constantly remind myself to stop being so lazy and start working.

This kind of laziness won't get anything done. What fate awaits my future and career if I don't break free from my laziness?

I am my family's eldest daughter. It is my duty to prioritize my career in order to provide for my family's financial needs, starting with my parents.

Not that money is an issue in our home at the moment, but I am aware of how my parents have raised us in such excellent schools, have granted all of our desires, and have never left us without anything up to this point.

Even though my parents are becoming older, they still go above and beyond to make sure we are comfortable.

Consequently, I must now take action on their behalf in order to provide them with a tranquil existence.

I have the responsibility to grant all of their desires at this point.

Ever since I regained consciousness and saw my father doing hard work so much, I have always wanted to go to him and say,

"Papa, ab aap aaram se rest karo. Main hoon na, sab sambhal lungi."

And I'm getting pretty close to telling them those exact words.

And I don't want to enter into relationships at this time for this reason alone.

Okay, Let me tell you a story, kyuki tum log soch rahe honge ki kya bakwaas kare jaa rahi hai toh aaj sun hi lo meri dastaan...

I was enrolled in a basketball academy at the age of fifteen.

My father enrolled me in a basketball academy since I had always loved basketball.

So there was a boy who was four years my senior. He was good - looking.

so i had a little crush on him.

He had a good sense of humor. You are aware of how easily humorous boys may win over teenage ladies.

I therefore experienced the same thing.

At that time, all the girls of my age or younger used to call him Bhaiya, but I don't.

How come I should address him as bhaiya while it's clear that I had feelings for him?

I thus didn't even speak with him.

Kyuki bolna toh bhaiya hi padega na jab bhi baat karungi, toh main unse baat hi nahi karti thi.

This continued for two months. We used to meet on the basketball court, and I would only respond to his questions when he asked them.

One day, as the rest of us girls were waiting around break time, a girl informed me—not me—but to all the girls that Bhaiya's girlfriend is really attractive.

And I was like- what?, kyu?, nahiii!! Why didn't it occur to me that he could also have a girlfriend?

I mean ofcourse he is handsome, has a good sense of humor, So why wouldn't he have a girlfriend?

Ab har koi meri tarah thodi na hota hai.

And as soon as I heard that he had a girlfriend, my crush disappeared on its own.

Par fir bhi ek feeling toh reh hi jaati hai, ki haan I did had a thing for him. 

Khair chhodo, ab girlfriend hai hi toh main kyu itni sharma-sharmi mein rahoon.

Since then I had become quite open with him. fir toh, I started calling him bhaiya. 

I started talking to him a lot. Matlab sirf masti mazak or kuch nahi, koi zyada serious talking nahi.

There were two bhaiyas more who were his friends and used to come to the academy.

Since the four of us had formed a gang, we used to do more fun than practice.

Tumhari behen ka sense of humor bhi kam thodi na hai.

I was the youngest in that gang, so they used to make fun of me and in return I used to insult them in front of everyone.

So our banter continued like this, until after a year, one day there was a female basketball tournament.

In that tournament, our team was competing as well.

So my father also came to watch that tournament. After our match, when I came out of the restroom after changing from my sports uniform to normal clothes, he was standing there and so was that 'bhaiya'.

Papa congratulated me as our team won second position.

After congratulating me, Papa left the stadium claiming to have gotten a call.

Then he said, "I wanted to talk to you."

"Hmm.. kya?" I said. I assumed that anything he said would be in jest, so I didn't really listen to anything he said.

(what?)

And suddenly he said, "I Love You."

My body seemed to be still.

And you won't believe what I replied to this.

"Matlab?" I said.

(meaning)

Like seriously Jeeva 'matlab', you don't know the meaning of i love you, my inner self mocked me.

Arey, i know the meaning of i love you but i don't know the context in which he said that.

And by his expression i can say that he was shocked to hear what i said. I mean of course yaar abhi tum kisi ko propose karo aur woh tumhare proposal ka jawab 'matlab' de toh shock hona banta hai. I mean yes or no nothing but 'matlab'. (meaning)

(Now if you propose to someone and he/she responds to your proposal with 'Matlab' then it is bound to be a shock.)

Haan, toh aur kya karti main. Matlab sab kuch sahi chal raha tha, hum achhe dost the, achhi khasi masti mazak hote rehte the usme inko yeh 'i love you' ghusana tha.

(So what else do I do? Meaning everything was going well. We were good friends, we used to joke a lot and he had to include 'I love you' in it.)

Kyu?

(why?)

Then he said, " kuch nahi" and went to the other team members.

(nothing)

He Left me all confused.

But then, I ignored it.

After a while, as I was eating lunch, seated on a chair, he approached and sat down next to me, asking "why you hadn't responded?"

Abhi, what am I supposed to respond, man? Just leave me alone. Go get a life, stop troubling me.

I mean, this guy has broken a nice friendship, and now he's asking me why I didn't answer?

I was staring at him not knowing what to respond. He was also looking at me.

We were sitting so close that if anyone saw us, he will surely think that something is going on between him and i.

And the feared event took place. Papa had a close-up look at us.

Papa came to us and cleared his throat and said, " Jeeva, let's go."

We looked at him and stood up.

"Okay, papa." I said and went with him.

I couldn't understand why he had to spoil such a good and fun relationship by saying 'I love you'.

You may be thinking that I must have given him some hints to let him know that I'm crushing on him, but I didn't give him any.

I never gave any hints to him, neither when I had a crush on him nor now when i don't.

Then when we reached home, papa did not say anything to me, everything was going on normally.

And about that 'bhaiya', i rejected his proposal. we've never talked after that. We became strangers again.

then one day mumma asked me, 'Who do you like, Jeeva?'

I was shocked to hear this, " What? Why would I like someone?" I said.

"Your father feels that you like someone at the academy." she said.

"But why?" I said feeling nervous.

" I don't know, maybe he saw something." she said.

Then I remembered what he had seen.

Then I told the whole thing to mom. Didn't tell about my crush, just about proposal.

Yes, I share everything with my mother because she understands me.

Anyway, then she told me that papa cried that night telling about his feelings to mumma.

He said, " Jeeva is growing up now. Such thoughts might have come to her mind that she should also get into a relationship with someone. And then one day she will get married to that person. Then what will happen to me, how will I live without her."

You know, just papa things.

But I really felt guilty after knowing that my father cried just because of some misunderstanding, just because he thought that i like someone and will get married when i grow up.

No, never.

I made a vow then and there to never again do anything to upset my parents.

I'm not going to start a relationship till I'm successful.

And I'll notify my parents first if, after becoming prosperous, I start dating someone.

ek woh din tha aur ek aajka din hai, I haven't thought of getting into a relationship yet, I haven't had a crush on anyone since then.

(There was that day and today is the day.)

Now you people must be thinking that Rish pe kya hai fir, then no, I do not have a crush on him.

It's just that being around him made me feel secure and at ease.

I can't categorize it as a crush. And i've read somewhere that, 'Crush is just a lack of knowledge.'

And I know Rish very much.

He's a kind and nice person.

and,

I adore him.

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How was the chapter?

Have you also had such a crush on someone?

Tell me in the comment section.